Your bones feel crushed as you bend towards the toilet retching in pain. Your head hates you so much you can barely open your eyes, and there’s a constant, evil thumping that refuses to diffuse momentarily while you slip back into sleep. You’re thirsty, and you try to swallow those pills with water, knowing full well they’ll be back up with a vengeance… and what remains of your stomach lining. All this precludes the awful embarrassment that follows when your brain recalls that… you… did… that!
You really just should have had the water.
But, you didn’t. And now you’ve sworn off alcohol and artificial highs that make you dance around the room. Oh, wait… does that mean hot sauce?
Can Hot Sauce Give You a Hangover?
We all associate gut-wrenching, mind-bending lows with those incredible highs. That’s what alcohol does. A slew of drugs (prescribed and otherwise) will do the same. And, you should know by now that the capsaicin in hot sauce will also get you high. If you’re a chili head, you’ve likely experienced that rush (with or without alcohol propelling you higher).
If it can get you high, can hot sauce give you a hangover?
Think about your last awful hangover experience. Or, if you’ve never been hung over, feel free to point and laugh as you imagine one. It’s not an illness caused by being happy or having a good time. Mostly, hangovers are the physical pains of dehydration. If it’s awful, you’ll also experience a dilation of blood vessels and a severe drop in blood sugar levels plus a handful of other symptoms. Feeling better generally revolves around rectifying these symptoms… and, as they tell you health class, time.
It’s worse if you get to the withdrawal stage, of which, hangovers are just the beginning.
You’re not going to get that with hot sauce. You will get the rush. Absolutely. You might even dance on the tables. But you will not have a hot sauce hangover. The rush you feel is your brain reacting to perceived pain.
Dealing with the pain during your hot sauce encounter is the worst you’ll get… unless you have capsaicin sensitivities (in which case, we suggest avoiding peppers at all costs).
The good news? Hot sauce might actually help you deal with your alcohol hangovers. We suggest indulging in a Bloody Mary spiked with your favorite Mad Dog hot sauce. And, if you stay tuned, we’ll bring you a new hangover cure, erm recipe, soon. It’s that time of year, after all.